So it has been a full week without tobacco. I have still been taking hits off of the vaporizer for the past two days. That is kind of disappointing to me because I wanted to be completely nicotine free.
This is only the first step. I only have one thing of nicotine vaporizer juice and I don’t plan on getting anymore when it runs out. I’ll probably even sell the vapor device on kijiji.
I don’t know if it is unhealthy or not but my concern is that it is still addictive. I don’t want to have to rely on anything to get me through the day. I will only use my pure unbreakable spirit and willpower to get me through.
I actually have quit many times. For a few months it seemed like I tried to quit on an almost weekly basis. The only problem with that was, as soon as I got back to work I walked into a stressful situation and my main coping mechanism was to light up a butt.
It is kind of sad to think about all of the money that I wasted in the past as well. I figure that it is about $5 per day for the past decade that iv’e spent on cigarettes. 5 x 3650 = $18250.
I don’t think that there is an emoticon that can properly display my complete disgust with myself when I consider those numbers. Whats worse is that it was a low estimate. Iv’e been smoking for longer than 10 years. It is only for the past 10 years, I have had a steady source of income.
It’s pathetic to think that I am more worried about my finances than my health though. I have seen the entire world realize that they cause cancer and I just kept on happily smoking those coffin nails.
Thanks for reading this little blurb that I had to get out. Writing it has helped the cravings to pass. I wonder how long it will be until I stop thinking about the habit that I have carried with me for more than half of my life.